Careful not to step in my debt.



I, finally and after long periods of the opposite, am on the fringe of being without debt.

Well, that's not exactly true. Well, that is exactly true, but what's false is the implication, being that I was, up until now, and for allegedly long periods previously, in some sort of debt, which, in fact, I wasn't...sort of. the fact of the matter is, or was, at least, that I had recently spent several thousands of dollars repairing my shit-tacular idiot-mobile, and hadn't exactly paid that money back to the creditors who had lent it to me. However, an additional fact of the matter is, was? is? is. is that I had the money the whole while, but it was, inconveniently, located in my savings account which, for some ridiculous reason which I'm sure has to do with my mother and possibly catholicism, I am loathe to sap, drain or withdraw from in any way. So, here I stand, having finally paid the brunt of it back, and perched on the inevitability of receiving a large sum from the immutable federal government presently. Whoopdie fuckin' do.

The sad part is that I was forced, to avoid paying sizable interest related penalties, to drain some funds from my prized, ribbon winning saving account, and thus feel the nigh unquenchable guilt and shame of failure which prods me into paying myself back, so to speak. So technically, though I am out of debt with regard to any outside source, I am still, confusingly, in very much debt to myself, which makes not one shred of sense, except from my obviously perverted viewpoint. So, on the dawn of the next day (or-- lets be realisitc, around ten) I will access my accounts, engage payments, transfer balances, and other such quasi-esoteric bankisms which will result in that little outstanding balance line of all my credit accounts to read zero. Domination.

Of course, in spite of the huge weight that will no longer be resting on my proverbial testes, I will still be living on protein powder and saltine crackers until such time as I am able to replenish my savings to their full, once glorious capacities. And it will be good.

And in addition....soon, yes very soon, muah ha ha ha haaaaa.....I will begin reaping not insignificant benefits from my fledgling band, which, though dominant, has until now failed to be in any way profitable, due to, conincidentally, a big fat honkin debt. With that debt underfoot and out of mind, we can begin selling our soon to be released CD, and playing mad gigs, and makin', as they say, mad loot. Double domination.

And although my sole means of generating the money with which I will pay off my debt is this persistently present day job, I still feel an overwhelming desire to not go to work ever. Work really does not motivate me to go to work. Nothing, in fact, motivates me to go to work, with the exception of knowing that without income, I would undoubtedly be forced to move back in with my mom, which would be the absolute worst possible thing to ever happen in my life, so far. Well maybe not, but pretty damn close.

So, with the threat of mom's house lingering on the horizon I suppose I have to continue at least showing up to work. And someday I will have amassed a fortune of such great proportions that I myself will have to admit that I can afford to buy some new pants. Shortly thereafter I will conquer the known world.