On guard... Douche::

Simply put, Lon is a huge douche.

Lon is a guy I kind of work for. I say "kind of" in the sense of "not really." You see... actually you know what, it's pretty complicated so just be content with the facts that he can't fire me and doesn't sign my paychecks, but, inexplicably, he's still in charge.

The thing is, he's slightly southern, implying an accent, which under different circumstances and from a different person I might find cute or even endearing, but which, under these circumstances and from this person I find incredibly annoying and condescending. When he speaks I want to jam a grenade in his mouth. Then I want his head to explode.

Every so often we have to meet with Lon, present our progress and listen to his concerns and feedback because he represents our customer. We have to address issues and hold discussions, all of which are dominated by Lon, and, in which, Lon displays the amazing douchitude which he possesses.

The thing is, Lon knows that he's in charge. He knows that it doesn't really matter what he says or how arrogant and rude he is, because basically, everybody has to do what he says. This makes Lon drunk with power--something he is unlikely to experience in any other facet of his life, seeing as he is an impotent little weasel with stupid spikey receding grey hair and stubby potato fingers who stands about 3 and half feet smurfy tall.

Clearly, I hate Lon. And during the meeting, it's pretty obvious that everyone else does too. I suspect this has something to do with what an incredible turd sandwich he is.

In conclusion, someday Lon will be dead, and I will dance a happy jig on his still moist grave.

Does that make me a bad person?