That snot coffee::

We had a gig tonight. Simply put, we dominated. We played this huge brand new venue in center city, and the entire staff loves us there, not to toot our horn or anything. I think it's mainly because they have mostly singer/songwriter - guy with a guitar and cheesy lyrics, or whiny chic who's angry at the world kind of acts there, and it's refreshing to have a party band come in and just have fun. And also 'cause we rule. But that seems less important in view of the events of later this evening.

As has become customary, Brian, Theron, Luke and I.... and also, un-customarily, Tomacina .... went to the diner. The south street diner, specifically, which we all love and which was, tragically, closed when we arrived. They close at two now, undoubtedly because too many drunk south streetians wandered in in the early hours of the weekend and caused messy trouble. Anyway, we were all set to just go home, which, in retrospect, would have been the best plan, when someone suggested we all go to the oregon diner which was, conveniently, right around the corner on, you guessed it, oregon ave. So we did.

At first glance it looked like any other diner... dirty, unkempt, with similarly dressed and similarly disheveled wait staff who were all going through the motions, visibly tired of life. That's how it looked at first glance. It turned out, however, to be much, much less. So we sat down, or more accurately, were seated, in the smoking section because the non-smoking section was full.

Interesting side note: a booth later opened up in the non-smoking area but we couldn't take it, because brain is too huge to fit in a booth. End sidenote.

We ordered. Pancakes and mozzarella sticks for me. Not my usual, but hey, I'm on a diet. food came several years later, looking and smelling greasy and unhealthy, and there's no maple syrup. The waitress also decided that that would be a good time to not be around anymore. So I went on a hunt for syrup, which I eventually found via another, older, and much friendlier waitress who was clearly not quite as world weary as the waitress to whom we had been assigned, who was no doubt in the back with her head in the oven.

Anyway, the meal was uneventful, but fun. Tomacina pretty much laughs at everything I say, so that was a pleasant departure from the usual circumstance of never being around a woman, let alone one who gets anything I say. I think brian should marry her. She seems like the kind of girl who would always be giving him that "are you crazy" look that old women always give old men. And that's just fun.

So anyway, I drained a cup of coffee, and ordered and received another and drained most of it, when, out of the corner of my eye, taking a sip, I noticed something odd. Namely, a small whitish glob of something which was apparently growing or living in the bottom of my coffee cup. I passed the cup around and everyone was equally disgusted with it, so of course, I brought it to the manger's attention. Our waitress had recently dropped an entire tray of food on the table adjacent to ours, so I figured she wouldn't be happy to hear that she served me a cafe crappe (pronounced crap-ay). Anyway they refunded my four dollar pancakes and ninety cent coffee bill, so hopefully that will cover the extensive blood work and tetnus shot I'll undoutedly be needing. I'll definitely be cuddling up with that five-spot I saved in my hospital bed after they cut out the parasite that's gestating in my abdomen.

Aside from all that unpleasantness, I've definitely been really unhappy lately. I'm snapping at everyone, I have no patience for anybody or anything. The tiniest little thing sets me off. I'm pretty sure it's because I've been womanless for what seems like an eternity. It really hasn't been that long, and I could probably get laid at every show if I really had zero standards and ethics, but I kind of just want to have another body in the bed when I wake up. Walk in the door at night and have someone say, 'it's about time you got home.' Someone besides my mom, that is. Frankly, I don't miss that. Someone to give this damn necklace to.

Oh right, the necklace.

So I bought this necklace, right. From tiffany's of course. Nothing but the best. I think I bought it last christmas. I was going out with jodi at the time, and we'd been off and on for a while, and we happened to be on for a long while and I bought her this semi-pretty-expensive necklace. The thing was, that was right about the time that everything started falling apart with us, again, and so I wasn't sure if I wanted to give it to her, because I was still really bitter about the whole her jumping back and forth between me and her ex a million times thing. That's a whole other story. Anyway, I wound up breaking up with her, because that's what she wanted, somehow, and never gave her the necklace. And we even got back together and dated for a while again and then broke up again, and I still never gave it to her. Now I'm totally certain that I'll never give it to her, because she's a selfish manipulative mind warping bitch... but it's just sitting here.

I can't take it back because it's way too late for that, and I don't want to sell it, even though I should. She even offered to buy it from me, but I refused because I just didn't want her to have it. You know, cause I'm bitter and hold grudges. So I still have it, and I'll probably have it for a long ass time, because I'm pretty sure every relationship I ever had any interest in has ended with someone hating me. Which brings me to a whole other story. For another time.

For right now, I'm gonna go make myself vomit up whatever bodily excretion was fed to me earlier.