Nasty Trolls with Big Tits::


Well it's happened. My friends are engaged.

Like, all of them. Except, fittingly, the only one that I still hang out with. He's high and dry--just like me. So that's comforting.

But the rest, my god the rest. My friends from high school, who, until about a year ago, before I joined the band, were my only friends, are all settling down. As if they ever weren't settled. The most boring people on earth have all found a way to simultaneous become more boring. By simultaneously of course I mean within a year of each other.

So John and G-money are both engaged, and Jim has a serious girlfriend. How depressing. Dan and I, the final members of the team, are without women, prospects or hope. We've resigned ourselves to lives of watching sappy primetime comedy-drama's and wondering where we can meet gorgeous, interesting, smart girls who get our pop culture references and make their own. Or at least I have.

Dan has mostly resigned himself to a life of chasing after really nasty looking trolls with big tits. He gets alot of them. So that's nice for him.

Me... I write funk tunes about being miserable and alone forever. I never play them.

Marriage seems like such an adult thing to even be contemplating. I mean, my old high school friends are some of the most infantile dudes ever. And all of sudden they're all grown up and adult. Scary.

Here I am, still awake at 2:56 AM on a Tuesday night for absolutely no good reason whatsoever. How did I become the immature one? Where did I go wrong?

Of course we all know the answer to that question. I think I could narrow it down to a date and time. Give or take an hour.

But, such is life. No regrets, no looking back. You make decisions, you live with them. I actually still think I made the right ones. Except for my recent "one that got away" experience, but that's another story.

I feel like I'm waiting fo something to happen. And I remember writing that before. Multiple times. In almost every entry. I also remember resolving to make a change, to take control and go after what I want. I make that resolution alot too. I never follow through on it.

Maybe I should start hanging out in libraries. No, book stores. There have to be interesting people there. Or at least, people who want other people to think that they could be interesting. That's a start, right? All I want, is for one time, when I say, "Do you read the bible, brett?" to not get a blank stare. I want that person to not have to wonder why I called them brett. I want them to know immediately, instinctively why. Or at least, have a familiar feeling. Some kind of recognition. I want to know someone, who knows something. Anything. I used to want someone who knew everything. I used to want someone who was like me. I used to think that if you gave someone a chance, they could turn out to be interesting, even if they didn't give you that impression immediately.

The scary part is my patience is wearing thinner and thinner, and, ironically, my expectations are getting higher and higher and higher.

Eventually, though, I'll wind up at the bottom floor. It's inevitable. At some point, you have to compromise. Last stop, nasty trolls with big tits.