Stuff That Sucks: Dreamgirls ::

Quite often, everyone just seems to love something that very obviously sucks swollen monkey balls.

This is most certainly the case with the movie "Dreamgirls."

Winner of two academy awards, most notably one for best supporting actress Jennifer Hudson, a decision I thought must have been made by gerbils. Now, truthfully, I only saw two of the four movies with actors nominated in this category, but I of the two I saw, I would almost have picked the fatty from Little Miss Sunshine over this screaming, bitchy cow. I mean she can sing, I'll give her that, but the award is for acting. You're telling me this American idol reject beat out Cate Blanchett? I didn't even see that movie and I know Cate Blanchett was WAY better then Jennifer Hudson. The only way Cate Blanchett could get beat by Jennifer Hudson in an acting competition is if she was legally dead for the entire movie, and was playing a live person.

I couldn't even make it through this movie... the plot was predictable, the music was shitty, and the acting... my god the acting. You have a pop star, a cast off from American idol, and Eddie Murphy. With that lineup, if it doesn't suck hard, I'll eat my own head.

Anyway, the thing I hate most about this movie is... everything. I can't even narrow it down to specifics. I just flat out hated it, and anyone will tell you, I like almost everything. It's really difficult to make a movie that I don't enjoy, but Director Bill Condon (you know he got teased as a kid. And now.), congrats, you made a movie so painfully sucky that even I hate it.

What I don't get is how everyone on the planet seems to have loved this movie. Granted, I'm not exactly up on pop culture these days, but this movie is winning awards like it's Paris Hilton at a "Humiliate Yourself Publicly for Money You Don't Need" contest.

Bottom line, no matter what anybody says, this movie is shit. And if I have to sit through any more "performances" by Jennifer Hudson because she somehow annoyed her way into an oscar win, I'm going to cut out my spleen.

Stuff That DOESN'T Suck: Funky Butter - Funky, Buttery Farewell::

Ah, Funky Butter. How beautifully backwards you are.

Funky Butter, the five piece funk rock firedrill from NYC, gave their farewell performance this past weekend at the World Cafe Live in Philadelphia, PA. Though I only caught the last few songs of the night, they were all intricate and complex, challenging at times for a listener but always entertaining. The band has a song writing style all it's own, never to be accused of adhering to any formula, and while it's dynamic and different, it has it's own brand of organization, and always leaves room to show off the musicianship of the five members. Each piece is showcased tastefully, giving the audience a sense of the talent, but without showing off. And they are, contrary to their website bio, seriously funky. Overall, I'm sorry to see them go.

Though they're disbanding in the coming weeks, it's not without setting their legacy in wax for fans of the group, which they have been and will continue doing for the rest of the summer. It's definitely backwards -- get together, write a stable of songs, tour up and down the area playing them, break up... and then record your first album -- but it has a kind of purity to it that might get snickers from some, but respect, at least from me.

The act itself shows a love and respect for not only the audiences and fans, but also for the music that was created in the three year tenure of the group, and for the experience and memory of being together. It's a tribute to the family that a touring band becomes on the road, a sort of musical photo album that, hopefully, will allways remind them all of good times. Furthermore, the band decided to put every cent generated by their musical career into the album, supported additionally by donations from fans. Simply put, they're not in it for the dough, but for the love of music and performance, and I, for one, respect that.

God speed, Funky Butter, we'll miss you.