I've been playing video games or, as we say in the industry, "gaming," for about 18 years now, (Christ, I'm old) and I've had my fair share, or what I'd like to call, a crapload, of gaming experience. During the tenure of my gamer career, I've owned the NES, Super NES, Sega Genesis, gameboy, game gear, Nintendo 64, Game Cube, Playstation, Playstation 2, XBOX, PSP and XBOX 360. I've been around the block. And I have to say, I have never had more trouble finding just one game that I like, than I have with the PSP. I think that quite possibly, the PSP blows ass.
But I'm not sure. I mean right off the bat, the control scheme just doesn't lend itself to FPS games. You need another joystick in there. It's obvious. And ever since the Playstation Expo in 1996, when Sony unveiled it's dual analog joystick for the PS1, Sony has consistently moved forward in video game controller technology. Until the release of the PSP in 2004. That's when they decided not just to step backwards and include only a D-pad with their device, but also, they just tease you with that one useless analog joystick. That's just mean. Throw another one of those on the other side of the device, where it seems to symmetrically beg to be placed, and you, Sony, have got yourself a winner. Without it, sadly, you suck nuts.
So yeah, I'm pissed. Sure, I knew the control setup when I was shopping for a PSP. I had access to information about the games, and even could have played the demo models on the floors of electronics and game stores. But I didn't. I saw the one analog and thought... it's on. Analog frag-fest of global, yet portable, proportions is within my grasp. And with game after game, inevitable disappointment sets in as I experiment with universally shitty control schemes.
It's just so frustrating, all that graphic power and processing potential, but a complete inability to take advantage of it, because of one simple, stupid little oversight. Damn you Sony... you tease us with potentially great things, and then you fuck it all up in an unscrupulous efforts to secure market dominance. Ok, that doesn't really apply here, but you know you're guilty of that too.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to drown my sorrows by basking in the superior videocassette recording format of BetaMax.
